well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
