just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
