So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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