would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
