i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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