her vagine was all disorganized.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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