I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
