You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
