How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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