girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
