I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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