Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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