Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
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How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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