on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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