weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
