gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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