ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
