Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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