i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
