I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
