I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
