Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
