I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
