You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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