So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
