i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
