those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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