I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
