doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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