He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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