Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
