so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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