yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Holy shit dude........stairs
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