Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
