oh god the rape fog is back!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
