Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
