hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
