yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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