Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize