No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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