yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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