I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
