Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
