i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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