Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
