you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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