Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
