it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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