All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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