My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
