so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
