what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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