is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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