he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
