and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
