pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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