you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
