can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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