Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
