I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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