shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
