my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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